I guess I should get back to this. I was kind of thinking about just saying fuck it, even the folks on Facebook don't seem very interested in giving feedback. I dunno, I guess I thought doing a blog would be more fun, and I started so I could get closer with people, but I still just feel awkward every time I post. I don't think anybody really cares all that much. But I said I was going to do this and I should, the head picker would be pissed off if he found out I've been slacking so much. In my defense, Halloween was busy with folks coming over, then the whole birthday thing, and now the elections, and the whole news cycle has just been nuts for ages. It feels like too much to do every day. It was a bit easier before, 'cause we would brainstorm a bit together, but he still isn't speaking to me apparently. I haven't heard anything yet. I guess it happens; everybody goes away at some point, I don't know why he should be any different. ...I gotta get back to wo
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He hasn't said anything for a few days now. I'm sort of worried. He ghosts sometimes, that's not weird or anything like that. I just said some really nasty things when we spoke last, if you could call it speaking. A fight. It feels like we're fighting a lot lately. But yeah, it was right afterwards that he just went silent. I guess I'm just worried that's the reason why this time. I was supposed to take this weekend off, and I just ended up working the whole thing again. I should go to bed. I can't sleep. ....you know, I don't think anybody even noticed we were gone.
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He's such an asshole. My head feels like someone stuck it in a vice, I'm tired, the smokes are almost gone. He won't even tell me what the fuck he was doing at all hours of the damn morning in the rain. No blog today. I was gonna do something, I had some ideas jotted down, an AMA or like a random topic chat or something, but I feel like crap. I just don't think I can put a face on right now. The Garrus video is pretty much ready, so I have something to give folks at least. I think I'm just gonna get my blanket and watch the news nice and loud aside from that. He wants to talk he says, and I really don't have any interest in hearing what he has to say right now.
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Work's been bad, but definitely some progress on the whole sleep thing. Setting multiple alarms did the trick, and going to bed early helps. I don't fall asleep right away, but that's not really a big deal; lol I don't actually remember a point when I ever fell asleep easily. So long as I'm in bed and resting, I at least fall asleep faster than when I was sitting up watching the news 'till all hours. And my brain feels a little less noisy when I do lay down, which I'm sure doesn't hurt anything. Nothing really to blog about tonight, things have been pretty uneventful, and with work being so hectic I haven't had time to plan out that tour thing. I know I wanna do it, but I don't want it to be just random wandering around town. I wanna make something that folks will like, and that definitely isn't it. I'm pretty much done my Garrus video, though. It's taken a bit longer than expected because I keep having to interrupt it for work, but
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Success! The alarms worked last night. :) I set four, and I slept through the first two, but I woke up on the third and was still out of bed by the time I wanted to be. Feeling great; got a bunch of work done today and almost got myself back on track. Did some more doodling, really enjoying the new art program. All in all a great day, here's to a great week!
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So it turns out I may not have been sleeping through the alarm all this time. Set it for 1 p.m. today and didn't wake up until six. When I did my phone was across the room, on my chair by the closet, and the alarm had been shut off. So apparently I did wake up, and must have shut it off and gone to the bathroom or something. I literally don't remember doing that at all but I must have been too out of it. I'm just gonna set a bunch of alarms this time and that way even if I do shut it off in a sleep stupor, the next one will just go off a few minutes later.
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Also, one more note to self, before I forget: Remember to bring the notebook to bed at night (or morning, whenever we get to sleep). More intense dreaming but couldn't remember anything within a couple minutes of getting up. Gotta remember to write them down right away next time, should be excellent for art ideas.